Breakfast

I'm sure your mother told you breakfast was the most important meal of the day. You know, she was right. Last night you went to sleep at um, was it 10pm or 1am. And now, you're standing in the shower, wondering why I'm talking to you. I wonder why you are standing in the shower while you are looking at this computer screen while water falls over your not so slim body. Okay, perhaps you have a waterproof handheld screen.
Have you looked at your body lately?
On second thought, don't. Not just yet. No need to get yourself all crazy. Can I say crazy?
Look, we are both in the shower and you're still not done yet. Time stands still for no one.
Okay, I'll leave but I will be just outside the door.

About time you finished your shower. I could have grown old and bald. Are you going to wear that shirt with those pants? No, I'm not your mother. After you have had something to eat, I want you to go into your closet and see if you can find another shirt.
You will sit here and eat something. Don't have the time? Well, I think you do and you will stay and eat as though your life depended on it.
Yes, I am full of it but if you don't eat something, you will start to doze around 9AM and then you'll reach for one of those empty calorie desserts and you will start the roller coaster all over again. How many cups of coffee or soda do you have in a day? It's a wonder your stomach has not dissolved by now.
Yes, I know your carpool is arriving in a couple of minutes. So, just be quiet, eat and change that awful looking shirt.
No, I'm not trying to poison you, its called cottage cheese. And those little nuts are called almonds. And those red things are dried cranberries. You are eating a half a cup of low fat cottage cheese, a handful of almonds and dried cranberries.
Before you leave, I have made two snacks for you. Eat one at 10 am and the other at 3pm.
No, it does not matter which one you eat first. Surprise yourself.
The one bag has a 10 almonds in it. The other bag has a small cumcumber and one ounce of cheese. You might want to keep the bag with the cheese in the frig or eat it for your morning snack.
Now, get out or here or you're going to be late for work. And next time, turn on a light when you're getting dressed.
I'll be here for dinner, so don't be late.